Dear Claire,
I know that you love cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory. I do too. But next time you eat it, please remember that you will wake up the next morning feeling terrible and drink Diet Coke for breakfast, because you are convinced it is the only thing that won't make you vomit. It will actually just make you feel worse. Remember also, that because you only had Diet Coke for breakfast, you will be hungry and grab a muffin on the way to work. That will also make you feel worse. I'm just looking out for you, Claire.
Love,
Mr. Stomach
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