the mile run

So, I have started running recently. I am training for a 5k on Halloween in which we dress up as superheroes! It should be awesome and it is a run/walk, so if I really cannot run the 5k, NBD.

This is a huge personal challenge for me because I have NEVER been capable of running like a normal person. I have never been particularly thin, but I was never so heavy that running should have been a huge problem. But it was; my lungs and legs and stomach and head all joined together to create intense discomfort and pain. And death. Remember in school when we had to do the President’s Physical Fitness test in the fall and the spring? And we had to run a mile? I thought of the mile run day as the worst day of my life. And we never had advance warning or practice. One day, I would head into gym class and the teachers would say “Okay, head out to the track, time to run the mile.” All the normal kids would be like “This sucks, I might actually sweat in gym today and have to bring my gym clothes home to be washed for once. Lame.” The running-phobic kids (kid? this may have just been me) would immediately panic and launch into a train of irrational thoughts: “OH MY GOD THE MILE WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???? I didn’t know it was today, I would have broken by ankle, or at least sprained it…or at least pretended! Can I do it now? If I trip going down to the track and claim my ankle hurts, will the gym teachers believe me and let me go to the nurse? What if they make me make it up next gym class? If I sneak into the woods, will they notice? Will I get punished? Is the punishment worse than running the mile?”

Before I knew it, I would be down at the track, on the starting line with all the kids who looked WAY less panicky than I felt, and I would be running. Usually beforehand, I would desperately try to find a buddy of equal or less running stamina so I wouldn’t be dragging my dying body alone for the last 3 laps (out of 4). I usually failed at this endeavor; I’d run like ¼ (or maybe a ¼ of a lap?) of a mile, die a little, and try to get my buddy to walk with me. My buddy would leave me and I would be on my own.

Eventually, the gym teachers would just wave me in after 12 minutes because that was the point where you failed that portion of the Fitness Test. It was humiliating and painful. One time I ran the mile in 8 minutes or so, but only because I skipped a lap and the gym teacher didn’t notice. It feels good to finally come clean. After my freshman year of high school, I made my mom write me a note excusing me from the mile because I had exercise-induced asthma. The gym teachers usually told me I needed a note from a doctor, but excuse me anyways because it wasn’t worth their effort to argue.

Anyways, I have been running for a few weeks now and I am noticing serious improvement. In fact, on Tuesday I ran for an entire mile (I forgot my stopwatch) and last night I ran a mile again in …. TEN MINUTES! I know this isn’t a good mile time, but for me this is a REALLY BIG DEAL. Just running the entire mile in any amount of time is an accomplishment and I feel so proud of myself. I stagger into the apartment after running and feel like screaming “I AM KING OF RUNNING! NO ONE IS MORE AWESOME THAN ME!!!!” (Sometimes I actually do scream this.)

Gym teachers, you would be so proud of me now.