There are many reasons I am like a two year old:

1. I don't do well on very little sleep.
2. I melt down when I am hungry.
3. I freak out when people yell at me.
4. I have to go to the bathroom a lot.

Sometimes these things combine to create a perfect storm of tears, rage or both. Like this past weekend. We embarked on an adventure to my uncle's ski/lake house early Saturday morning intending to spend Saturday at the lake and Sunday at Water Country (Water Country...have some fun!). Aside from Saturday being a little colder than we would have liked, it was good times.

So Saturday night, we all go to bed around 12, psyched for our Water Country adventure the next morning. Somebody, however, wanted to stay up all night to talk: Mr. Stomach. Mr. Stomach apparently did not like the combination of chicken, bratwurst and smores we had eaten earlier and wanted to stay up all night to talk about it. It went something like this:

Mr. Stomach: BLURGLE BLURGLE GRRRRRRRR BLURGLE
Me: Are you okay?
Mr. Stomach: GRRRRRUMBLEEE BLAAAAAAAH MEEEEEEHHHHHH
Me: Please stop.

Mr. Stomach was super chatty all night. That, combined with the really uncomfortable bed, led to me being awake practically all night long.

The next morning, I was feeling better, ready to go on some water slides. We head out in two cars (boys car and girls car, natch), without breakfast, intending to stop at a Dunkin Donuts on the way. I had printed directions and the boys were following the girls car, which I was driving. So we stop and I park, ready to go in and avoid the long drive through line and the lazy lazy boys are like "why would you go in? DRIVE THROUGH!" I'm thinking "I kinda have to pee, but I can hold it" and get back in line for the drive through. Of course, it takes forever.

So I get to the speaker and try to order my food, KCo's food and KRiz's coffee . As soon as I open my mouth to order, I hear someone (Ryan) in the boys car yell "Hey, hurry it up!!!" I got flustered and ordered the coffee wrong and thought "Okay, I'm sure that happens all the time, I'll just let them know when I get up to the food window, it will be okay."

It wasn't. Here is what I remember from that exchange:

Me: I'm sorry, I ordered decaf instead of regular.
DD lady: You said decaf, here is decaf."
Me: Yeah, I screwed up, can I reorder it?
DD lady: You ordered this!! She wrote it down on the cup! See here, it says decaf?!
Me: I'm sorry, it was wrong, can I get a new one?
DD lady: What do you want?
Me: Medium iced hazelnut...
DD lady: She wrote down DECAF!
Me: That was wrong...medium iced hazelnut with sweet and low and milk.
DD lady: She wrote down CREAM AND SPLENDA...you didn't want that? THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID! WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Me: I was wrong! I will pay for 2 coffees, I just want to reorder this coffee! IF THIS IS A PROBLEM I WILL GET OUT OF THE DRIVE THROUGH AND COME INSIDE!
[At this point, I am in near hysterics and the DD lady is hanging out of the food window yelling at me]
DD lady: Fine - What do you want?
I'd like a medium iced hazelnut with 3 sweet and lows and milk.
DD lady: How many splendas?
Me: Uhh...3 sweet and lows.
DD lady: How many milks?
Me: .... the normal amount?
DD lady: Fine.

So we get our food and I am flipping out: I am STARVING, I have to pee, I am exhausted and I have just been yelled at by Ryan and by a crazy Dunkin Donuts lady. This is the string of irrational (yet totally rational in my mind at the time) thoughts that followed:

"This is all Ryan's fault. Everything bad that has ever happened in my life, especially the last 10 hours, is all Ryan's fault. I am going to KILL Ryan. At the very least, I am going to punch Ryan. I have never punched anyone before, what if I miss? Ok, maybe I'll just slap him...I've never slapped anyone before either, but it must be easier than punching, right? RIGHT??? Right. Or better yet, I will lose them in rural New Hampshire. They will be stranded! And never get to Water Country! THEY WILL NEVER GET HOME!!! It doesn't matter that they have a GPS in the car, they will be lost forever if they can't follow me! But then I won't get to slap Ryan. HUNGRY HAVE TO PEE TIRED NAP PEE EAT EAT EAT GRRRRRRRR!"

So I eventually calmed down and ate and peed and felt better and forgave Ryan for ruining my life.

Two important things from this experience:
1. I am lucky people put up with me.
2. I will never forget how KRiz likes her coffee at Dunkin Donuts.

*Note: I am not normally a monster. These 4 things, when they occur separately, lead to at most some mean/sad faces and blaming someone else for making me hungry (not for ruining my life). But still, unpleasant.